Trusting Yourself to Love

Trusting Yourself to Love

If this is your memory of your first relationship, you may hope that therapy would help you find the strength to trust again in other people. But deep down in the subconscious realm, there was a question being asked of the social part of the mind. “Why? This is...
Relationships in the Middle Ground

Relationships in the Middle Ground

Sex is the spice of life, but does it make a great relationship? We are built to feel that it should. As animals, everything that we do is designed to serve the survival of our genes. When that urge is frustrated, we feel frustrated. But, you know, society...
Imaginary Friends

Imaginary Friends

Natural selection (Darwin’s evolution) drives animals toward faster, stronger, and more lethal. Greater specimens act freely, while lesser creatures scrabble in the shadow of death. Imagination changes that picture: lesser creatures still submit, but may observe and...
Loss and Grieving

Loss and Grieving

To know loss is to confront change. People, pets, homes and jobs are not just things – they are the backdrop for our behavior. When we first acquire them, we are conscious of learning to adapt to their presence. Over time, those changes become automatic behaviors...
Birth to Breakup

Birth to Breakup

Psychoanalysis presupposes that we can reason about our behavior, but our brain adapts to the conditions of infancy long before we can reason. Most importantly, it is in infancy that we decide whether to trust that the world will care for us. In refining his...